


the black river of loss

by newct127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Astral Projection, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Mystery, Paranormal, Spirit World, Tags and Characters to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28201032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newct127/pseuds/newct127
Summary: During a walk in the woods Donghyuck meets a man who doesn’t remember his own name.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil
Comments: 44
Kudos: 80





	1. by morning i had vanished at least a dozen times

**Author's Note:**

> impulsive decisions luv, impulsive decisions
> 
> fic title from the blackwater woods, a poem by mary oliver  
> all chapter titles from mary oliver poems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from sleeping in the forest, a poem by mary oliver

Donghyuck is used to finding weird things in the woods. People leave things on accident, they put things in special places on purpose. He’s had the best laughs and biggest spooks from things he’s stumbled onto in the woods.

Books, clothes, litter, those are the normal things. There was a time where he found a pink envelope with a letter that contained a love confession which he got a good laugh out of. He once found a voodoo doll that was stabbed with needles all over that he refused to touch. And there’s his least favorite example of weird things he’s found  —  what he can only define as a sacrifice, in the form of a chicken carcass in a pool of what he hopes was its own blood.

He’s seen his share of weird, and yes, he’s found many types of things.

But he never expected to find a man.

It happens on a Sunday afternoon. He’s never been to this part of the woods. He normally walks by the popular trails, but he needed to try something new. He chose one of the more demanding trails this time for a change, the perfect way to distress after what feels like a never-ending week.

It’s normal at first, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing he didn’t expect. He’s enjoying the walk and the change of scenery. It’s beautiful. He wishes he didn’t wait so long to try this trail. He’s heard great things and they don’t disappoint.

He’s near the end of his walk when he sees it. A sort of a clearing in between the trees, illuminated by the setting sun. In the middle of it a tree, older than the ones around it. Shorter, and out of place. It captures his attention.

As Donghyuck walks nearer towards it he sees him for the first time. He looks tiny and frail from afar, as he gets closer to him that doesn’t change. He’s wearing a white shirt that’s way too big for him. He’s sitting with his back to the tree trunk, hugging his knees, his head resting on top of them.

Something must be wrong. Hyuck wonders if he can help him.

He approaches him and stops a few meters away but this doesn’t get the man’s attention. It’s odd.

That’s only where the oddities begin.

“Are you okay?” he asks. The man doesn’t look up, he doesn’t move. It’s almost like he’s not breathing. So Hyuck tries again. “Is there anything I can do to help? Can I call someone or drive you somewhere?”

The man raises his head up then. He looks up at Hyuck’s face and the moment their eyes meet his expression changes. He seems shocked. He seems confused. Then he asks something that confuses Donghyuck.

“You can see me?”

Hyuck narrows his eyes, looking him over again before he answers.

“I can hear you too,” he tells him, then repeats, “Are you okay?”

The man is still looking at him, he’s thinking.

“I don’t know.” It’s the oddest answer Hyuck has ever received.

“What’s your name?”

The man shakes his head, “I don’t remember.”

“You don’t remember your own name?”

“I’ve been here for so long, I don’t remember anything,” the man tells him. Donghyuck has no idea what that means. “I’ve tried to leave so many times, but I’ve failed. I just keep ending up by this tree.” The more details the man adds, the more spooked Donghyuck becomes. What kind of crazy is he dealing with here? The man must’ve hit his head somewhere. “And so many people have passed by this place. No one else has seen me. Not even when I approach them. So I stopped trying.”

Donghyuck doesn’t understand.

Does he live somewhere nearby? What does he mean he’s failed to leave? How can he fail to leave? No one’s seen him? That one is most confusing. Why wouldn’t they see him?

Has he been here all weekend long? Have they looked for him?

“Are you hungry? Thirsty?” Donghyuck’s questions don’t remain in his train of thought.

The man’s eyes widen.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. I haven’t felt hunger or thirst in a very long time.”

This man has to be out of his goddamn mind. Something really isn’t right.

Donghyuck decides that he has to help him.

“Here’s what we’ll do. I’ll take you to the city with me and we’ll go talk to the police and figure it all out,” he pitches the idea. The man looks at him, slightly annoyed. He sighs before agreeing. “Just follow me,” Hyuck says to him.

The man stands up, allowing Hyuck to get a better look at him. He isn’t as small as he first thought, but he looks vulnerable. Seeing him that way, and knowing that he’s crazy too, makes Hyuck determined. He’ll help him. He has to help him.

They walk in silence for a few minutes, Hyuck follows the map of the area diligently so they don’t stray from the path. The sooner they get to the main trail, the sooner they’ll get off the mountain and it’ll be over.

Hyuck’s a bit afraid. But he knows that he can’t leave the man behind.

“Do you remember your own name?” the man asks him.

They’re minutes away from the bit of the forest that Hyuck’s familiar with when he finally speaks. They’re minutes away from sunset and darkness engulfing them too.

“I do.”

“What is it?”

He’s not sure how wise it is to give his real name to a loon he met in the woods. He still has to give him an answer though. His childhood nickname will have to do.

“I’m Haechan.”

“Can you promise me something Haechan?”

“Sure,” he says and turns to look at the man. He’s being cautious. Anything might happen.

“Will you come again and find me?” What is that supposed to mean? They’re leaving. Together. Why would he come here again to find him? “Promise me,” the stranger insists, a stern look on his face.

“I promise.” Hyuck doesn’t know why he says it

There’s a small smile on the man’s lips when he hears that. “I’ll be by the tree again,” he then says.

Donghyuck stops walking, taken aback by the statement. He watches as the nameless man continues walking forward, disregarding the fact that Hyuck hasn’t moved.

That’s when he starts to fade, as if someone is lowering the opacity on his entire being.

Donghyuck can't believe his eyes. It can’t be real.

Either Donghyuck’s hallucinating or the man isn’t a man. He can’t be human.

“What are you?” Hyuck calls after him.

The being turns around and manages to give Hyuck an answer before it vanishes fully. Three words that Hyuck heard many times since he first saw it.

“I don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you think so far?


	2. osiris came home at last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck processes what happened in the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from the oak tree at the entrance to blackwater pond, poem by mary oliver

“Is there a man living in the woods?”

The lady at the park ranger office looks at him like he’s asked the most idiotic thing ever. Maybe it is the most idiotic thing ever. Maybe she’s just taken aback by how jumpy he seems.

He needs to ask. Just to make sure that it’s not something totally normal. Maybe it was a trick of the eye.

“Sir, this is a national park. No one lives here.”

Okay. If he doesn’t officially live here, maybe he’s squatting somewhere in the woods. Maybe he’s homeless, and ended up here on accident. There are many fruit trees and streams in the woods. That would explain why he said he hasn’t felt hunger or thirst. The rest was him fucking with Donghyuck, trying not to get exposed.

“There are no houses or gazebos, or anything like that?”

“Sir,” the lady tries again, “This is a national park. We have rangers exploring the area at all times. We’d know if there was someone here. No one’s sleeping in any of the eight gazebos we have on the grounds. It gets really cold at night, it’s impossible to sleep here and stay hidden.”

“How about someone living nearby?”

“Sir.” The lady pinches the bridge of her nose and takes in a sharp breath.

He realizes that this is a bridge he shouldn’t burn if he wants to be allowed in the national park again.

“Let me guess, this is a national park,” the words leave his mouth with a bitter tone of voice. He needs to get out before he gets banned. “I’m sorry for bothering you. Thank you for your help.” He sprints out of the office and heads to his car. The lady was of no help, anyway.

The drive back to the city might be the most dangerous one he’s taken to date. It’s definitely not one that one should do while freaking out over a conversation they’ve had with a ghost, potentially. He doesn’t know how he manages to get home safely.

It’s already dark when he gets to the city, and he’s too in his head, too focused on what happened. He needs to clear his head. It’s ironic, the walk in the woods was supposed to get that done already, not to make the need for it worse.

“Did you find some colorful mushrooms on your walk, hyung?” Chenle asks him after he tells them what happened. Donghyuck wants to smack himself for saying anything. And to his roommate and his roommate’s boyfriend, of all people. Too late now.

Truth is, he didn’t have much of a choice. He arrived home an hour and a half after sunset, after pacing around the block a few times. He’s sweaty and he’s hyperventilating, and he’s so, so scared. They asked, he answered. They probably only asked because he’s visibly distraught and not because they care. But they still asked. He shouldn’t have answered.

“It sounds really scary,” Jisung tells him.

It was, he wants to say, but Chenle adds another gem of a comment.

“And really trippy, too.”

He’s right. But Donghyuck still doesn’t like that comment. He knows what hallucinations are like, he’s done the whole experimenting in college thing. He experimented enough. Now he’s in his final year, and he needs to get things done. He can’t afford to experiment anymore. He can’t make his education last any longer than it already has. He’s had enough.

He looks at them both, Jisung a bit concerned while Chenle has a smirk on his face. He can’t do this right now. He thanks them for their input and heads to his room.

Maybe he’ll be able to deal with this tomorrow. Just not right now.

He does his best to forget. Not to think about it. But the scene keeps replaying in his head. The man-like figure in the white shirt, the way it disappeared slowly into thin air.

Thinking about going to bed, relaxing and falling asleep is one thing, but actually doing it is another. Donghyuck ends up thinking about what happened, thinking about the creature in the white shirt and how human he looked. And curiosity gets the best of him. He has to figure it out.

He ends up on Google, because of course he does. Google has the answer to everything. At moments it feels like he’s typing in symptoms into WebMD.

He has some ideas of what he’s supposed to look for. Ghosts, ghouls, demons, fairies, angels. He even considers that he might’ve seen an alien. He goes over lists of creatures that could possibly, maybe exist. When nothing makes complete sense, he ends up typing in the obvious. Paranormal creatures that can vanish. He reads about creatures he’s never heard before.

But none of it is what he’s looking for. He doesn’t have enough information to go with.

If he wants to figure this one out he’ll have to go back and find out some more information from the creature. If he can. If the creature remembers. Or if the creature is willing to tell him.

The fear that the creature is playing some game with him hits him in the early morning hours. He’ll have to be careful and smart about it. Because it could be a trap.

“How are you feeling?” Jisung asks him the next day.

He hasn’t had a minute of sleep all night and he’s late for class. He doesn’t have the energy or time to continue the conversation from yesterday. He knows that Jisung means well. It’s the mischievous smile on Chenle’s face that makes him wary.

“I’m fine.”

Hyuck is being watched as he takes a sip of his coffee and rushes to grab his things and get out. He really doesn’t like the way they’re looking at him.

“Do you still think you saw something paranormal?” Chenle asks with a smile, masterfully avoiding the look Jisung is giving him.

“I think you should start paying rent,” Hyuck quips before he heads out the door.

He saw what he saw, and it would be amazing if he could sit and ponder until he figures it out. But he has life and responsibilities to get back to.

He doesn’t shut off his brain. Maybe that thing he saw really was an alien. But that doesn’t explain why it said no one else can see it. He’ll have to think about it some more.

The mystery in the woods will have to wait until his free time on the weekends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any theories so far??


	3. behold how the fist opens with invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck goes back to the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the mary oliver poem that the title is from: the fist

Beside his usual snacks and water, he packs a change of clothes, in case the creature needs them. The lady that treated him like an idiot said it gets cold at night, and one of the most recurring thoughts in his head since last weekend was the image of it in the white shirt, freezing in the cold night. He can’t let it freeze to death. Unless it’s evil. That’s yet to be determined.

He also takes a notebook, so he can write down all the information he’ll find out from the conversation. Anything that might help him figure it out, cause there has to be an answer. Unless, of course, there isn’t. And he was really hallucinating, like Chenle said.

Hyuck had no reason to doubt it the day it happened the day I happened. Back then it felt real. Now that some time has passed, it no longer feels real. Quite the opposite. That’s why he’s preparing for all possible scenarios, including showing up to find nothing.

In the car on his way to the forest, Hyuck realizes how excited he is to see what happens. He is also excited to see whether or not he’s crazy. It should be fine. But still. Just in case. He shouldn’t get his hopes up.

It could’ve been a practical joke too. That’s one possibility he hasn’t considered that dawns on him now.

He should be careful, he already established that.

He doesn’t walk around the woods aimlessly, like he did last time. He heads straight for the clearing with the tree, where the creature, prankster, or figment of his imagination, promised it would be. But when he arrives there’s no one there.

Donghyuck stops in the same spot where he found the man last time and starts looking around. It’s calm in the spot, the sun kisses Hyuck’s kiss with pleasant warmth. It’s quiet, maybe too quiet.

It’s odd. And Hyuck has no clue where to go from here. He can’t solve the mystery. He might have to go to the hospital and get a check up, cause what even happened last weekend. Is he going insane? Is it time to have Jisung take him to get put down?

He exhales and decides to take one last look at the area around the tree. When he finds nothing he’ll leave and go straight to the hospital. There he’ll determine if he’s dying, or if it was a prankster. The thought that something might be wrong with him echoes in his head. His breathing speeds up.

Then he hears it.

“You really came. Like you promised.”

He turns around to see it. It looks the exact way as it did the last time Hyuck saw it. It can’t be a prankster, he decides. How would a prankster know exactly when he’ll come. By now he determined that no one lives here, or nearby.

What is it, then?

“I did.”

“Haechan,” it says, “I tried my best not to forget your name. I was scared I would.”

“How have you been?”

It tilts its head and examines him before answering.

“I don’t know.” But of course. “How long has it been since I last saw you?”

“Six days.” It nods. “How long has it been for you?”

“It felt like months.”

“Do you mind if I write that down?”

“Why do you want to write it down?”

“You vanished. I want to figure it out. Maybe I can help you.”

When Haechan says that he wants to help, it smiles.

“You’re going to help me,” it repeats, and it’s smile grows wider. Hyuck can’t help but notice how cute it looks when it smiles.

Huh.

“I’m gonna do my best to do that.”

“Thank you. Haechan.”

He takes a seat near the tree, then pulls out the notebook and a pen. He scribbles down that the creature doesn’t have perception of time. He has many things to ask next, he needs to get as much information as he can.

From there, he’ll do some research and figure it out.

He looks up to see it still standing, looking at him with confusion.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“I thought you’re gonna write on your smartphone.”

“You know what smartphones are?”

“I see people use them all the time,” the creature tells him, eagerly sitting down on the ground next to him, “I think I used to have one.” Donghyuck writes that one down. “Or maybe I still do.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I feel things,” it says, “Like touches and pain, and ease sometimes. But it’s not because of what’s going on here. I can’t touch here.”

Donghyuck looks at him and blinks a few times. It can’t touch. But it can sit. How does that work?

“Show me,” Hyuck says.

The creature extends its arm and tries to pinch his nose. Donghyuck doesn’t feel anything and the ends of the creature’s fingers vanish into his nose.

Interesting. Spooky, but interesting.

“I have walked through people before. It sends shivers down their spines.” The creature tells him. It giggles before it adds, “It’s funny.” It's a prankster, of the paranormal kind. And it giggles? Huh. It has a cute giggle. Donghyuck is growing attached to it. He’s in it until he gets the answer. “I can show you, if you don’t mind the sensation.”

Tempting.

“Yeah, show me.”

It smiles when it gets up and walks through him. And then there are, the promised shivers.

It’s definitely a creature of some kind.

“It’s not funny this time. I think it’s cause I know you,” it says, taking a seat on his previous spot.

It can also show compassion. It might not be exclusively malicious.

Donghyuck writes all of it down.

“What do you feel right now?” Hyuck asks him. He watches its expression carefully.

“Tired. Kind of stiff and stuck.”

Like Hyuck feels after he sleeps without moving all night long. That might be a clue to answer Hyuck’s question about what’s going on.

After he writes it all down, he asks another question. “How about emotionally?”

“Usually lonely and sad. Right now I’m happy that you came back. You’re the first person I’ve spoken to in so long,” it tells him. As soon as it says that, they both hear movement nearby. A hiker shows up on the trail. “See, he has a phone in his hand,” it says, then shouts after the hiker, “Hey dude! Why the phone? You’re in nature! Enjoy nature! Look at the trees!”

The hiker doesn’t react in any way. Huh.

Donghyuck waits until the hiker is far gone before he returns his attention to the creature, and the smug smile on his face.

“So you can feel things,” he starts going through the list of what he has so far, waiting for confirmation from the creature. It nods. Hyuck continues, “But you’re not able to touch things and you go through things.”

Another nod.

It sounds like he’s a ghost. But can ghosts feel things? Can ghosts talk and show up only for specific people. He needs to research all of that.

Hyuck asks it about what it usually does, receiving a very anticlimactic answer. It walks through the woods, sometimes in circles. It says it’s been chanting ‘Haechan’ in an attempt not to forget the name.

“Haechan is important to me,” it states, and Hyuck smiles at it. Its words only make him want to help it more.

When he asks about what the creature remembers, it talks about the woods, and the people it has seen, and events that have happened here. Nothing that isn’t in this part of the national park.

Was it born here? Is it dying here? Why is it so stuck here? What is it? Donghyuck writes down these questions too, he can’t let anything slip his mind.

He lets it take him on a walk through the woods, showing him more of his favorite places, telling him what he remembers happened there. Stories about hikers getting lost, a campfire that almost started a forest fire, and a proposal story. Hyuck likes this conversation.

Before it walks him out like last time, vanishing act and all, Hyuck takes a photo of it standing near the tree. It’s a weird theory that he wants to put to the test. He checks it to make sure that the camera captures it, and it sure does. Hyuck can see it on his screen.

“Thank you for answering my questions,” he says.

“Thank you for coming,” it returns, “You’ll be back soon, yes?”

“Yes. I’ll be back next week,” he promises, “We’ll talk some more then. If you remember anything, you’ll tell me, yes?”

“If I remember, I’ll try not to forget it.” It gives Hyuck a smile. “See you soon, Haechannie,” it tells him before it vanishes.

It was quite a nice day, Donghyuck has to note. Even with the mystery and the spooky things, it was nice.

Donghyuck also must note that he isn’t scared anymore, not the way he was before. He still might not know what it is, but he knows what it can do. He learned a bit about its character. It isn’t mean. It’s actually really calm, friendly and a bit funny.

He hopes that when he returns next weekend, he’ll be able to help it more than he did today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you have any theories about it yet, drop me a comment or a cc. i want to know.


	4. the timid nuthatch will come to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With some information in hand, Donghyuck sets out to figure out what he's witnessing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> winter and the nuthatch, mary oliver

Donghyuck is excited to get home and start doing his research. He has two papers and a presentation to work on for school, but all of that can be postponed for tomorrow. This is more important. He finally has something to go on, and that’s exciting.

Right off the bat, Donghyuck can cross some things off the list he has in his head. It can walk through things, it walked through him. That goes against most things that Hyuck supposed it was, so that can’t be it.

Before he gets to the fun research part, he needs to try one more thing.

He doesn’t greet Jisung, or explain anything. He rushes into the apartment and gets straight to the point.

“What do you see in this picture?”

Jisung blinks at him a few times. He sighs before he looks at Hyuck’s phone and the picture he’s showing him. He squints, seemingly doing his best. According to the answer he gives though, it’s in vain.

“A tree,” Jisung says.

Hyuck pulls back his phone and zooms into the creature’s smiling face. Then he shows the photo he took to Jisung again.

“What about now?”

“A really nice branch.”

Jisung sounds confused. He looks confused too.

Hyuck decides to ease his mind before he catches on. If Jisung knows, so will Chenle, and he doesn’t need that. Chenle clowned him enough already.

“It is a nice branch isn’t it. I saw it and I thought I’d share.”

Jisung isn’t that dumb though.

“Are you okay hyung?”

“Peachy.”

“Did you go to the same woods like last weekend? The one with the hallucinogenic mushrooms.”

“I didn’t eat any mushrooms Jisung,” he returns, bitterly, “And no, I didn’t. This is different woods.”

“Cool tree. I like the branch.” Jisung seconds it with a nod. He believes him. That’s nice. His roommate is just too nice. “Was your walk enjoyable?”

“It was, thank you for asking.”

Jisung asks more about the walk and the woods. Donghyuck is happy to tell him all about what he saw today, purposefully leaving out the fact that he saw all those places with an unknown entity by his side. The less Jisung knows about this, the better.

He ends the day the way he expected to do it — online, indulging himself with research. It’s his favorite part of doing a degree too, reading through so much information to get the exact bit that he needs.

This time his research results with two, very helpful conclusions.

One: whatever it is, it’s probably from the spirit world. Lots of things can vanish, but only ghosts and spirits can walk through things. But his research doesn’t say whether or not ghosts and spirits can feel, especially not in the way it described that it felt. So he has to consult an expert.

Reading all of that he also decides to start addressing the entity as ‘he’.

Two: he needs help to figure it out, and help from someone who’s willing to take him seriously, and not mock him. After a quick search, and another twenty minutes trying to figure out the location in Google maps, he knows exactly where to go. A bookshop that specializes in selling books on the occult. It has the potential to help him find an answer. More importantly, it’s open on Sundays. He decides to head there first thing in the morning. And that’s exactly what he does.

He goes over the usual procedure with Jisung in the morning, coffee and pleasantries, and talking about what needs to be done around the apartment while having breakfast. Then he heads out.

Despite having studied the map online, Hyuck has a hard time finding the shop. There were no pictures of it online, so he allowed himself to imagine what it would look like. He thought it would be a tiny, really dark store, with overflowing bookshelves and books covered in dust. It’s not.

The bookstore is big, it’s well lit and it feels light and airy. The walls are painted white and the bookshelves are well-organized. No dust anywhere. Almost like a regular bookstore. Except there’s also a corner where you can get a hot beverage. In the middle of the shop you can sit down and read.

Maybe that’s what he will do.

He takes a look around the store. Judging by the look on the employees faces, he realizes he might appear to be lost. He gives him a smile as he approaches the register.

“Can I help you, sir?”

Hyuck has never been called sir before, and definitely not by someone who’s approximately his age. This is interesting.

“I am looking for a book on the spirit world and different types of spirits.”

Hyuck innocently blinks at the employee, expecting an answer. The employee blinks back at him.

“The spirit world books are in the back,” the dude tells him and points it out for him, “Feel free to look through everything. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

“Thank you.” Donghyuck offers a smile and heads towards the section.

There’s a lot to pick from. He reads over the titles and pulls the ones that sound like they’re what he’s looking for, and he piles them on an empty table. The excitement builds inside him. He might be able to solve this today. It would be so cool if he’s successful. Even if he doesn’t solve it, he might find something out, and that excites him too. An explanation, or even a start of an explanation, would be amazing. He’ll be satisfied with anything, as long as it’s something.

Hyuck takes out his notes and starts going through everything he pulled from the shelves. An hour passes, and he’s no closer to an answer. He can’t allow himself to become frustrated though. This is where he can find an answer and he will do exactly that. No matter how long it takes.

The only issue with that plan is that the place he’s at isn’t a library. It’s a bookstore, and at bookstores it’s expected for you to buy books, not just sit and read them. It’s unethical. It’s also why his antics don’t go unnoticed.

When one of the employees takes a seat on the desk opposite of him, he’s not too surprised. He realizes he’s overstayed his welcome and he needs to make a decision. He doesn’t expect the man to offer him help by asking a peculiar question.

“What did you see?”

Donghyuck gulps, uncertain. Will he come off as crazy here or are they used to it? They probably won’t look at him the way Chenle did, but he still needs to be careful and pick his words.

He studies the man for a moment. He looks serious and kind at the same time. The name tag he’s wearing says ‘Yuta’, and his question hits the nail right on the head.

Should he just say it?

No. Test the waters first.

“What makes you think I’ve seen something?” he returns with a question of his own.

“You’re looking for something specific,” the man notes, “If you tell me what you saw, I might be able to help you find an explanation.”

He considers it. The decision Hyuck comes to is that this is his best option. Even if he looks crazy to this person. It’s not like he’s going to see him again, anyway.

“I think it was a ghost. It’s definitely some kind of spirit, but it’s also a little odd.”

“How so?”

“He is able to engage in conversation.”

“They can be talkative,” Yuta tells him, smirking knowingly.

“He says I’m the only one who can see him, and from what I’ve seen it’s true. He also says he feels things, like physical sensations. And he’s stuck in these woods, he can’t leave.”

“It’s definitely some spirit,” Yuta tells him. He gets up and walks towards the spirit section, only to return with more books. Ones Hyuck didn’t spot before. “It’s intriguing that you’re the only one who can see him. It’s something I haven’t heard of before. There has to be some connection there.”

“I’ve never met him before.”

“It doesn’t have to be that kind of connection. It could be something external. It could be destiny. You can’t go against the universe.”

What a lovely sentiment. Destiny. The universe being in charge.

Could it really be something as complicated as that? The universe setting things up this way is too ominous for Donghyuck’s taste.

Yuta sits with him and they both go through books, developing theories. It’s nice not to do it on his own. It’s nice that someone is taking him seriously. Yuta is knowledgeable about it too, so the theories they come up with are decent. What Hyuck has to do now is figure out which one of them suits his situation most.

Theory number one: the man in the woods is a ghost of someone who was killed there.

Theory number two: the man in the woods is a ghost of someone who was killed and there is some object that connects him to the woods.

Theory number three: same as the above, but it’s a memory that connects him to the woods.

To figure it out Hyuck will have to get him to remember.

He leaves the bookstore with a book that promises to help him through the process, the list of theories in his notebook, and a promise to Yuta that he’ll return once he figures it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for giving this story a chance.  
> i wish you a happy and healthy 2021!! happy new year everyone!! 💛💛


	5. it sounds like a body falling apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck goes back to the woods to test some theories.  
> The spirit remembers snippets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> night and the river, mary oliver

The book says that what he needs to do is make him remember in any way he can, and it offers many ideas on how to do it. Any clue can help, it says. Any might be a bit of a stretch. But it also might start a chain reaction and lead to something bigger.

Donghyuck is hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. He has no idea what will work exactly, so he covers his basics for this first trip. Pictures of the city, the neighborhoods and some famous places that he puts on his phone, in a folder. He also puts pictures from cities around the country in a separate folder, just in case the spirit isn't from Seoul. It's a long shot, cause otherwise what would tie it to this woods, but still. Better safe than sorry.

He takes snacks so he can try to do it with labels and things he might've seen in the supermarkets. If he remembers the labels the snacks have now, the time frame will be narrowed down. He is grasping at straws, really. But he can't know what will work, so he might as well try everything he can.

The most odd thing he gets is a book of baby names. It's silly. But the book said the best way to make the spirit remember is to get them to remember their own name.

If it's a common name, then boom, problem solved.

He plans out his trip in entirety. He plans it out badly, but still, he plans. He even takes the tent he bought last year and never used. He has no idea how to put it up, he'll have to work that out while he's in the woods. But he wants to maximize his time there, and he really doesn't want to make the drive again tomorrow. That would be too much work and it would get really frustrating if there isn't pay off. This trip has to be productive. A lot depends on it.

"You're going camping?"

He didn't tell Jisung until now. He's trying his hardest not to let anything slip because once he does Chenle will know, and well... Chenle not knowing is a good thing. Hyuck is still having a hard time wrapping his head around how their relationship works. They're polar opposites in his opinion. Maybe that's what does it for them but him being on the receiving end of Chenle's remarks isn't pleasant for him.

"Yep. Just for tonight. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon," he answers. Jisung narrows his eyes when he looks at him. The little shit is onto him, it seems.

"Do you have everything? Food, water, that really warm sleeping bag? A lighter to make a campfire?"

Hyuck didn't think about making a campfire. It's a national park. He technically isn't supposed to camp there without booking, or notifying the rangers at the office. Maybe he should've asked about that beforehand. He definitely can't start a fire in the middle of protected woods. Shit. He better go back and get warmer clothes. This won't do otherwise.

"I have everything," he lies. There are still some things he needs to get to have backup of some supplies. He already planned to make a stop at the supermarket nearby on his way.

Okay. Maybe this was more of a spur of a moment decision, when he realized how many things he has to go over with the nameless spirit, rather than a carefully planned trip. It was all because of the book he got from the shop and all the methods it offered. He can't not figure out what is going on. The longer this mystery is a mystery to him, the more frustrated he's getting. The hopeless he becomes. The sadder the spirit will get.

And Hyuck really likes it when the spirit smiles.

"Did you get the solar-powered flashlights? You could use those." That is the one thing that he actually didn't get. He shakes his head no. "I'll get them for you."

It's usually the other way around, Hyuck is the one that has to baby Jisung and ask annoying questions about whether he's careful, whether he ate and did his homework. He loves the guy, but he's forgetful. This time the tables have turned, and Hyuck wonders why. Is Hyuck giving off a general vibe of ‘lost’ that Jisung is picking up on? Cause that would be a first.

Nevertheless, he is grateful for it. The flashlights will in fact come in handy for reading in the dark.

By now Hyuck has the drive memorized. He wouldn't go so far as to say that he can do it with his eyes closed because these roads are especially tricky. They get a bit slippery as he goes up the mountain too, so he has to be careful. But he's much more confident with it then he was the first time he made the trip, or the time he made the trip after he saw him for the first time and was distressed. It's a miracle he didn't get in an accident then.

He stops by the ranger's office and asks about camping. They explain the rules and make him sign some waver. Then he's on his way. He doesn't make any stops again. He goes straight for the path that leads to the clearing with the tree and he rushes to his destination.

This time he sees him in the same position as he was the day they first met. The same white shirt, looking baggy on him. Him folded over, his arms wrapped around his knees. Hyuck approaches him carefully, not wanting to spook him.

"Hey."

He looks up and smiles. He seems relieved.

"You came again."

"I told you I would."

"Haechan," he says, asking for confirmation with his tone of voice, "Six days since the last time I saw you. Right?"

"Yes. You still remember it well."

"I was chanting it again. The squirrels don't like it when I chant loudly, but they like it when I sing to them, so they forgave me," he tells him and smiles. Hyuck finds this really curious. He didn't know animals could hear, or see him.

Though, there is that myth that animals can sense souls. Maybe this confirms that myth.

"You're friends with squirrels?" It's so whimsical when he says it like that.

"And with some of the birds. Owls are shady though. They really don't like it when you talk to them."

"Noted," Donghyuck smiles.

"Do you want to go on a walk and talk again?"

"Yes. I'd love it if you lead me somewhere in the woods where I can camp for the night."

The spirit smiles and does exactly that.

He talks about the woodland creatures and which ones he likes best, as he leads Hyuck to another clearing, this one by a stream, and no tree in the middle. He tells him that he's seen some people camp here, and Hyuck accepts it. It's a pretty decent spot, it is pretty flat, so setting up the tent here won't be too big of a chore. It's also peaceful. And that is really important for his mission here. He needs to talk to an entity that's invisible to most people in peace.

“I’m sorry I can’t help you with this bit,” he tells him. He’s standing nearby, watching as Hyuck is getting started with the tent.

“That’s okay. We’ll talk and I’ll tell you what I found in my research while I set it up.”

Donghyuck tells him about what he found online, and the trip to the bookstore. He tells him about the guy at the bookstore who helped him and all the books they went through. The spirit listens to him carefully, nodding along the way and smiling whenever Hyuck tells him information that could help guide them to a solution to their conundrum.

He watches him carefully too, Donghyuck doesn't struggle with the tent too much, because he offers help in the form of guidance. The advice helps him, it's like the spirit has done it before. Maybe that's one of the epiphanies they need to get to.

The subject of him remembering is brought up then, and the spirit seems hesitant. Unsure if he can recollect the lost memories.

"How can we do that?" he asks.

"I brought some things. Mostly pictures. We'll look through them and see if that helps."

He cheers up at that and Hyuck decides they both think it could work. That makes him cheer up too. He's trying his best, and the spirit knows and appreciates it. That is somehow enough.

With the tent put up successfully, and a small campfire near the stream, just in case, Hyuck takes a seat on the ground and unzips his backpack. He pulls out some snacks and his notebook. There is an order that he wants to do things in, and he’s going to follow it.

He starts with the pictures of Seoul and places around the city. It makes the most sense to Haechan. He doubts that someone who isn’t from the city would end up in woods so near it.

The spirit knows Seoul, that’s for sure. He recognizes some buildings and neighborhoods, the towers and popular museums. He recognizes Insadong, Gwangjang Market, and Gyeongbokgung Palace. That is good news cause it means the memories are there, but at the same time it’s nothing. Hyuck can’t work with that.

He can’t work with the entity’s general knowledge of the other cities in South Korea either. He says he went to Jeju, and to Busan, and he’s seen the Hwaseong Fortress. So have many, many people. It doesn’t mean anything besides that he’s traveled around the country.

It doesn’t do anything for the mission that Hyuck is on, but it does make the spirit smile. He’s gaining some confidence, Hyuck notices. It’s really good for him. Hyuck is happy to help.

He moves onto something that is also a long shot, much like the photos he already showed. He knew this before he started downloading the photos, and he only did it because of that thing the hyung at the occult bookstore mentioned. Photos of the universities in Seoul. If he attended one of them, it could give Hyuck a better direction. Maybe he’ll be able to find him, even.

When Hyuck shows him some photos of Seoul National Universities, the spirit pauses. He closes his eyes for a few moments, and Donghyuck stares. Is something happening? Is he remembering?

He opens his eyes, then blinks a few times.

“I think I had a friend who went there,” he says, “I remember being there, and I remember seeing a face. I remember him telling me thank you for coming to see him. I’m remembering just that moment. But I don’t have a name, I’m sorry.”

He tells him not to apologize and that he’s doing really well. He means it. Considering everything, this is a breakthrough. Besides, Twitter has found people with less. Donghyuck has at least that, in case he gets desperate and asks Twitter for help.

Then the same thing happens a few minutes later with Hankuk University. Only another detail comes up too. The friend from Seoul National University was friends with the friend from Hankuk. Good to know. That could come in handy when he asks Twitter to help him find them.

“How about Hanyang University?” Donghyuck asks next, and shows him a photo of it.

The spirit’s eyes go wide.

“Wait,” he says, “Show me that again.”

Hyuck does exactly that. He shows him a few more photos that he had downloaded.

“Is it reminding you of something?”

“Yeah,” he tells him with a smile, “I think that was my university.”

“What did you major in?”

With that, the smile falls off his face.

“I…”

He asked for too much.

“It’s okay if you don’t remember,” Hyuck interrupts, “I can still try to find you in some yearbooks.”

“Wouldn’t that be too much work?”

“I have free time,” Donghyuck lies. He’s too invested in finding out the truth, so he’s willing to put in the time. Everything else can wait for a bit. Exams are a month away, anyway.

“If I remember anything, I’ll let you know.”

Hyuck nods. He gives him a smile and decides to drop the subject for a while.

It’s getting too much for the spirit. He wants to get to the truth more than anyone else, and is pushing himself, Hyuck can see it. He has a feeling that it could be counterproductive. He doesn’t want him to get overwhelmed.

The last thing on Hyuck’s list of ideas for this weekend is to go over through the book of names and see if any of them remind the spirit of anything. But he can do that in the morning. There are other things to talk about in the meantime.

Hyuck asks about what he’s been doing recently and what he’s seen happen in the woods. The spirit asks Hyuck about his classes and what he’s studying. He trusts him, so he tells him the truth.

They make conversation like regular people, getting to know each other. At moments Donghyuck forgets that one of them can walk through objects.

As the sun starts to set and Hyuck’s instinct is to go inside the tent to shield himself from the cold. He looks at the spirit, at how peaceful he looks as he looks up at the night sky. The moon and stars that shine so brightly here. They’re barely visible in the city. It reminds Hyuck to savor the sight while he can. Both of the stars and of the spirit.

Hyuck doesn’t like the fact that he is attracted to the spirit, but he can’t deny that it’s true.

That’s why he wants to solve it so much, so the man can find peace.

He shakes the thought away for a moment, and he asks a question he hasn’t asked before.

“Do you sleep?”

“Not really. It’s more like I sit and meditate. I’m aware the entire time,” he answers, eyes still glued to the sky.

“Would you like to sit and meditate inside the tent while I sleep?” That question gets his attention.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Would you be able to sleep with me next to you?”

“I trust you,” he finds himself saying without much thought given. Only after he says it he realizes that it might be too soon.

Hyuck thinks of a way to backtrack, but the spirit doesn’t allow him to.

“I trust you too,” he admits, a hint of a smile visible in the light the fire provides. “I’ll come in. I’ll keep you safe,” he promises. It warms Hyuck’s heart.

The realization of what those words mean exactly sets in after Donghyuck is in his sleeping bag, allowing himself to get comfortable and relax. The flashlight Jisung insisted on is illuminating the entire tent, its batteries still going. Before the light gets weaker, he uses the chance to check on the spirit.

He’s sitting next to Hyuck’s feet, looking at Hyuck’s backpack as if he’s trying to give him privacy.

“I brought a book of Korean names,” Hyuck tells him, “We’ll read some tomorrow, to see if they help you remember anything.”

“That’s a good idea,” he returns, “Thank you.”

“You’ll thank me when we solve it, okay?”

“Okay,” he nods, seconding it with a smile.

Hyuck looks at him for a few seconds, remembering the sight. He notices the confused look on the spirit’s face and decides to snap himself out of it.

“I’ll turn the light off now.”

He nods again, “Goodnight Haechannie.”

“Goodnight.”

Hyuck flicks the flashlight off and pulls his arm back in the sleeping bag. He falls asleep a few minutes later, listening to sounds of the stream, a smile on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!


	6. that it break open and never close again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A phone call makes Hyuck cut the trip shorter than he planned. It leads him back to the city where two new characters help him solve the mystery.  
> Well, about a third of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mary oliver poem: lead

Donghyuck wakes up to his phone ringing and the spirit sitting in the same position as he did the previous night. He blinks a few times, hoping to sober himself up from the sleep. He probably would've slept more if it wasn't for the call he's receiving. He feels surprisingly comfortable here.

The spirit turns to look at him, then smiles apologetically.

"I couldn't turn it off," he says, "I'm sorry."

Hyuck mhms, then clears his throat. The phone stops going off, finally.

"It's alright," he returns. It's not like the spirit has control over this anyway. Hyuck looks at the look on the spirit's face and feels bad that he felt the need to apologize. "Thank you for trying."

The spirit purses his lips and offers a nod.

There's a moment of silence when Hyuck forms a question in his head to ask about the spirit's night and the events he missed. To ask how he's feeling. But he ends up being unable to. He sighs as his phone starts ringing again. Someone sure is persistent.

He reaches his arm out of the sleeping bag and gets the phone. Chenle. At nine in the morning. The apartment better not be on fire.

"Oh, good. You're alive," Chenle teases when Hyuck picks up, "I was scared a bear got to you. Or maybe one of those vampire deer," he notes nonchalantly. Hyuck doesn't mind joking around with Chenle, as long as it's not the first thing in the morning.

Hyuck rolls his eyes, while the spirit carefully watches him. He motions with his hands, a question of whether or not he should give him some privacy in his movements. Hyuck shakes his head no. It's okay. After how the night went, and what both he and the spirit said in the evening, he isn't afraid of being more open with the spirit. They're friends.

"Good morning to you too," Hyuck responds, "Did you sleep well, Chenle? I was sleeping very well until you woke me up just now."

"I don't have time for pleasantries. That's not why I'm calling."

Hyuck makes a face, prompting a smile from the spirit. He smiles back at him.

"Water deer are herbivores, by the way. Despite the fangs."

"Yeah. Cool." Chenle returns with a dismissive tone of voice. It's quite irritating. Hyuck can't leave it as it is, he has to get to the bottom of it.

"What do you want?"

"I talked to my friend about you," Chenle tells him. Hyuck feels the need to interrupt him immediately, especially with the spirit right there, listening. That somehow changes things and makes him feel ashamed. The feeling is as odd as the situation he's in.

"I thought I already told you not to set me up on any dates," he says.

He sits up, pushing the sleeping bag down in the process. The spirit moves too, Hyuck catches discomfort on his face before he gets up and walks through the wall of the tent. Hyuck appreciates the privacy, though it wasn't necessary. He has a question about why he looked uncomfortable, he's determined to ask it once Chenle says what he has to say.

"Not like that. Like I'd set you up with anyone I know. I don't wish you on anyone I like,” he hears Chenle snort at him, “My friend believes in the paranormal like you, and even works as assistant to some ghost whisperer guy. All news to me, but the pay is good, apparently."

He cannot believe what he's hearing. Chenle is trying to be helpful, right? With a subject he deemed idiotic just weeks prior? Impossible. He has to witness this.

"Okay. Go on."

"I asked a bit about what you mentioned. I don't have enough details, though, so I'll take you to meet him and his boss when you come back. Don't rush, but also don't take too much time cause I might change my mind," he tells him, "Just stop lying about going to different woods. Jisung might believe you, but I don't." There's no point in him trying to deny it now. If they were face to face, he'd just nod at him. "Just get home by four," Chenle says, then ends the call.

Hyuck looks at the time on his screen and does a quick calculation in his head. To be home by four he has to leave by two. Okay. That gives him plenty of time to go over some names with the spirit and to see if anything rings any more bells.

He gets up and starts gathering things, putting them in his backpack. The sleeping bag is next, it needs to be folded and put back into its own bag. The tent can wait for a bit. First he'll have breakfast and talk to the spirit for a bit.

When he exits the tent, he sees him sitting by the stream, on the same rock as he did the night before. He's looking so small and soft. Out of place, and at the same time like he belongs right where he is. He looks uncomfortable still, a bit hurt too. He has to talk to him about what's going on and why he feels the way he does. These aren't questions he wants to leave unanswered when he leaves.

He closes the space between them and kneels down next to him. He starts with the most basic question, wanting to know exactly what's going on as he remembers the spirit saying he sometimes feels pain. Is he in pain right now? Is it something that he said?

"Are you okay?"

The spirit turns and looks at him, as if he's thinking before he answers. Hyuck is tempted to reach out and touch him, but there's nothing to touch.

"I forgot," he says after a beat. He shakes his head and pauses before continuing. "I remembered your name and your face. But I forgot that you have a life when you're not here. I didn't even think about it. It's in the air every time you're here and we talk, but I keep forgetting to remember that."

"I don't need you to remember that," Hyuck returns.

"But you have a life. Friends and family that I'm keeping you away from," the spirit states. Hyuck is about to protest, but the spirit says something else, and it breaks his heart. "I shouldn't be stopping you from having a life just because you are all I have in mine. If I can even call this a life."

Hyuck's heart sinks. The words are heavy, encapsulating the reality of the situation so well. He's right. Hyuck is the only thing he is aware of, the only person he remembers.

It only makes Hyuck more determined to help him.

"I am here because I want to be. You're not an obligation. You don't stop me from having a life. I have the life I want. And I'm sure you have a life too."

"How can you be sure?" the spirit sounds tired. Defeated. Hyuck doesn't want to "We don't even know what my name is. I don't know anything."

"Getting to know you like this, without getting a happy conclusion to the mystery would be a cruel joke. I don't think the universe wants me to hurt in such a way."

The spirit stares at him, examining every bit of his face. Speechless. He reaches out before he realizes, and pulls his hand back.

It's too good to be true, Hyuck thinks for a moment. But it isn't, really. Cause it's everything and nothing at the same time.

"I want to hold you," the spirit finally says.

Hyuck smiles at him softly. "I'll make sure that happens someday," he promises.

They both know that he can't guarantee it, but neither of them say it. The spirit lets him have it. He'll figure it out. Hyuck has decided to do that, and to will it to end well.

He wishes he could keep kneeling there, comforting the spirit, but he doesn't let him. He asks about the book of names and tells him that he should have breakfast before he folds up the tent.

The gesture means a lot to him, so he does what he's told. The spirit has his own way of caring, subtle ways of showing it that Hyuck is starting to notice more. Now that he saw one, he can't stop noticing everything else. It might be clouded judgment, even more of his feelings playing a part in it now, but it doesn't matter in the end. Cause it turns out, it isn't just him.

The book of names doesn't bring anything substantial. The spirit recognizes last names. Jung. Kim. Lee. All of them connected to the moments he remembered the day before. But they are too common to prompt the 'a-ha' moment Donghyuck needs him to have.

By the time they get to the personal names, time is starting to run out. He reads them out loud, as the spirit walks him back to the end of the woods, hoping any of them will spark up the return to some memory. Nothing happens though, and with each moment where nothing happens, the spirit grows more frustrated.

"I'm just wasting your time," he notes.

"You're not. We're just getting started," Hyuck says, "You already gave me a lot to work with."

The spirit looks at him, doubt written on his face. But Hyuck offers a reassuring smile which seems to be enough for him.

"I'll see you in a week?"

"Yes, you will." The spirit stops walking along with him, and waits for Hyuck to walk the last few meters and exit the woods. But he stops too. "Can you walk through it again?"

"You want to see me disappear?" he smiles at him, looking giddy as he waits for Hyuck's answer.

"Yes, please."

"Goodbye Haechannie," he offers a wave and walks forward, disappearing in front of his eyes.

Hyuck loves this bit. He loves seeing the disappearing act. It's what solidified his interest and he wants to keep being reminded that no matter how well he knows the spirit, there still is a mystery to solve. He needs to find a way to help him.

And as much as it pains him to leave right now, he needs to do it so he can see if he can find out something else.

He leaves the woods with a heavy heart, but also with some excitement. Chenle might lead him somewhere. His friend might know more than what he already discovered. Even if they don't, it's worth a shot.

He texts Chenle once he's near the city, which speeds the process up by a lot. Chenle tends to be impatient, so he's not too surprised that he's waiting for him outside his apartment building and is ready to go.

Once he's in the passenger seat, Chenle directs him to the city center and an apartment building Hyuck has seen too many times, but has never been inside. He also gives him a talk about being nice and not talking back too much because they won't charge them. It seems like a talk he should be giving Chenle, not the other way around.

They end up in what Donghyuck used to assume was a tea shop. That's what it looks like from the outside. Now that he's inside, he knows better.

Chenle introduces him to his friend, a grumpy guy named Renjun that looks at Hyuck through narrowed eyes and instant annoyance. The next person he meets is Ten, Renjun's boss and the owner of the shop. What they're selling, and what they're services are exactly remains unknown, but Hyuck won't complain at all. As Chenle pointed out, they won't charge them.

They ask for his story, and he tells them everything. All the details. Everything he found out in his subsequent visits. He tells them about the trip to the bookstore and what he found out there. They smile at him and mention the men he talked to by name, telling him it was the right thing to do.

Then he talks about how he met him, about the spirit walking through him, about the tent and the meditating he does instead of sleep. He shows them the picture where still, only he can see him. So describes him before talking about the spirit's thoughts and the memories that have started to come back.

The surprising bit comes after he talks about the spirit feeling. Once he says the spirit told him he feels pain sometimes, the atmosphere in the air changes.

"That's not a spirit, spirits don't feel. That has to be a soul," Ten says to him, and at first Hyuck is confused, "A spirit is someone's who's died. A soul comes from the living."

"Sounds like an astral projection to me," Renjun offers his theory, "The fact that he doesn't remember who he is what's tricky."

"You need him to remember," Ten says and nods.

They sit in silence for a moment, allowing Hyuck to process. Even Chenle is quiet, taking him aback because he always has something to say.

Hyuck understands. It makes sense, what they are saying is almost music to his ears. Almost. It solves only a bit of it.

What he doesn't know is where he should go from here. What's the next step? And more importantly… 

“Why am I the only one who can see and talk to him?” he asks.

“There is some connection," Ten tells him, "But I won’t know for sure until I see both of your astrological charts.”

It can't be something as silly as that, can it?

“Astrology? That’s what you have to offer?”

“You’re catching feelings for a soul in the woods that vanishes and walks right through you, but astrology is where you draw the line?” Chenle asks, a teasing smile across his lips.

Did he say catching feelings? Hyuck can't believe he's been so obvious.

Renjun makes a face at the youngest, to which Chenle diverts his attention away from the conversation. Then he explains, "There's not really a rule about what's happening to you because it's not an everyday thing. We'll cover all basics. We'll help you."

"I'll give you some options, more than just astrology," Ten then says, his voice calming and light, while his face remains unreadable. "But let's start with your astrological chart. I'll figure out your important dates. Run them by the soul. Maybe it'll remind him of something. I'll do some research in the meantime."

That's exactly what they do. Ten takes down his date and time of birth, and his email address. He'll send everything Hyuck needs by Friday, he says.

Hyuck leaves the shop with a newly gained sense of ease. A silly smile on his face than not even Chenle's disapproval can erase.

A soul. It means so little when said so simply, but to him it's life changing. He's alive, he has to be. And if he's alive then there is a chance for them to… be. The universe wasn't so cruel, after all

Hyuck can't wait for classes to be over on Friday so he can go back to the woods and tell him what he learned. He wonders how he'll act when he tells him he's alive.

He's alive. They didn't miss each other by decades.

He's alive. He has a life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: i'll update this fic once a week  
> *signs up for 2 fic fests and rewrites those fics multiple times while being stuck in isolation with two very bored, very loud extroverts who both had covid*  
> also me: well, maybe not
> 
> but the good news is, i finally got to use my favorite line of dialogue, aka the reason this fic didn't end at chapter one  
> (if you're still reading, thank you for sticking with me on this one. i promise it gets better from here, but i can't promise when i'll update cause i signed up for another fic fest 🙈🙈)


	7. i must love you very much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The need to clear his head leads Donghyuck back to the bookstore where a heart to heart with the store owner does exactly that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mary oliver poem: how i go to the woods
> 
> surprisingly, no woods in this chapter ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

The long-awaited email arrives in Donghyuck's inbox while he is in class. His phone lights up with the notification, drawing his attention away from the lecture he's pretending to listen to. The professor isn't saying anything that's not in the textbook anyway. Hyuck is good when it comes to learning from a textbook.

What Ten has sent him is a list of dates, as well as reasons as to why each day might be important. It's all about moon phases and planet positions. Mercury and it's freaking retrograde.

Hyuck hates astrology so much, he's never understood it. But okay. If this is what the experts say then astrology will do. It's worth a shot. Maybe some of the dates will jog some memory.

He makes a note in the notebook he's been carrying with him at all times recently, telling him to pick up some supplies for this weekend. He was going to go to the woods even without the list. Now he has a better justification than his usual need for a break from the city.

The other note he makes is to take his textbooks with him. He's been doing pretty well with keeping up with classes and studying, sneaking in research and carefully worded emails to Hanyang, Hankuk, and Seoul International, inquiring about their former alumni and yearbooks, during his breaks. But finals are in a month, and the word itself is more than enough to stress him out. He needs to make sure he has everything in order and that he can pass his exams. Next step is his thesis, but he can't think about it too much at the moment. It's too stressful. One thing at a time.

He takes the long way home after class, needing to clear his head a bit. Driving always helps him with that.

He thinks about the soul a lot recently, it doesn't leave his mind. He thinks about what Chenle said about his feelings, what Ten said about his connection, and even Yuta, the man at the bookstore before him. There is a connection that is grander than his understanding, one that cannot be explained simply. Yuta mentioning the universe comes back into his mind, a thought that never left, if he's honest. The universe wants this for him, for them. Why does the universe want this for them?

He ends up in a familiar part of town, a block away from the bookstore. So he ends up heading there.

"Great to see you again," Yuta greets him when he enters the shop. There's no other employees there today. It's odd that he remembers him. Why does he remember him? "What can I help you with today?"

Hyuck blinks at him, unsure. He doesn't know why he came, he just had to go somewhere that wasn't the apartment. There are no answers at the apartment.

"What do you have on souls?" he finds himself asking.

Yuta smiles at him. He points towards a section and heads towards it. Hyuck follows his steps until they're standing next to the bookcase in question and Yuta's browsing through the books.

"You finally figured it out."

Hyuck stops, blinks some more because that sounds like Yuta knew exactly what he was interacting with. But he didn't say. He mentioned souls, but he didn't tell him that it was a soul in question.

"You knew?"

"I wasn't sure at first, it just sounded like that might be the case. Then I talked to the spirit that lives here," he says, pointing with his thumb at the air nearby. A few months ago Hyuck would find that sentence, and the action incredibly odd. Now, it's not odd at all. It's pretty normal, actually, "he suggested this one book about souls that we have, which confirmed it to me. I'll find it now," he says, beginning his browsing through the titles. "How did you figure it out?"

"I talked to a spirit specialist. He told me it was a soul, he was sure of it. He also worked out some important dates that could be a clue for the connection."

"You're still the only one that can see the soul?"

Yuta also remembers that. The gesture makes Hyuck see a friend in him.

"Yes, still just me."

"Well," Yuta begins, his face lighting up as he notices the book he's been looking for on the bookshelf. He rises on his tiptoes and pulls it off the shelf. He then places it in Hyuck's hands. The book the spirit suggested to him. "I hope it helps you. I hope you're able to find all the answers you're looking for."

"Thank you," Hyuck smiles shortly, quickly focusing on the burning question on his mind. "May I ask, how does one communicate with spirits?"

"An Ouija board is one way. Or just talking and they answer to you, they talk back. They're all over the place."

It's that easy? Just talking. Hyuck has been talking to himself and the air surrounding him when he's on his own for years. Decades even. A spirit has never talked back to him.

"Seriously?"

"Yes," Yuta gives him a nod, "You just need to learn to use the Ouija correctly. You're not supposed to touch the cursor, that's for the spirits to use. And if your reasons for talking to them aren't innocent, if you're not pure of heart, then spirits don't talk back at all. No matter what method you use."

Hyuck takes in the new information, processing it as they walk back towards the reading area in the middle of the store. He has more questions thanks to it. He wants to know what method Yuta uses.

"Did the spirit tell you about this book or did they spell it out for you?"

"No, he knocked it off the shelf for me," Yuta tells him proudly. "Now go take a seat. I'll make you a cup of tea. You seem too distressed today, the last thing you need is caffeine."

"I..." Hyuck begins. He feels the need to talk to someone about it, to come clean about the doubts going on in his head. Yuta seems like the best choice for him. At the moment, at least. "I am a bit concerned about the connection. What if I can't help him in the end? All the while I feel... fondness. I'm worried, and maybe worst of all is that I'm infatuated with him. But what happens if I can't find the answer that we're looking for?"

Yuta turns his attention away from him and looks behind Hyuck's shoulder. He nods once at the air. Hyuck gets it. It's a bit creepy, focusing on blank space like that. But he knows it's a spirit, and if Yuta isn't afraid, Hyuck knows he doesn't have a reason to be afraid either.

"Everything will be okay," Yuta says to him after a moment, his attention returning back to the regular world. He sounds so sure, Hyuck is amazed.

"You can't just say that and expect me not to ask," he responds. He watches as Yuta smirks, then turns around and heads towards the front of the house and walks through the little door on the side marked ‘for employees only’.

"Spirits can travel through time."

Hyuck's eyes widen. Spirits travel through time? So the spirit saw the future for him.

"Can the spirit find out his name and tell me?"

"He can, but he won't," Yuta answers through the open door, sounding nonchalant, acting as if Hyuck doesn't sound and look panicked at all, "We don't want to mess with the universe in such a way. Destiny might change its mind," he adds, "He might answer another question. Make it a good one."

He has to think about it a bit, Hyuck decides.

He picks a chair in the reading area and sits down. Making himself comfortable in the area, he manages to relax a bit. He looks over the book Yuta handed him earlier, reading the title over and over again. He wonders if it'll be of any help, what he'll learn from it about the soul.

He places it on the table in front of him and leans over it, ready to uncover all the secrets.

What the book says doesn't provide the answers he's looking for. Not as far as he reads, at least. It does offer an insight into what the soul is feeling and going through. The book suggests something traumatic happened that caused the detachment. It suggests what the soul is feeling, both physically and emotionally. Hyuck makes another note in his notebook, this one telling him to ask the soul about it this weekend. He said he feels pain, is that pain as strong as the book suggests?

Hyuck loses himself in the reading. He mouths a 'thank you' at Yuta when he leaves the tea on the table for him, a bit later he nods permission when he asks to sit next to him and read his own book.

Customers come and go very peacefully. For a while there's another reader nearby, but Hyuck barely notices them.

He only wakes up and realizes he should go home when his phone lights up with another email notification.

_ Mr. Lee, _

_ I'm writing in response to your query about former alumni and university yearbooks. _

_ We cannot give you any information on our alumni. However, the yearbooks are open to the public. _

_ They are available in the Seoul National University campus library, in the archive. The archive is only open to outside visitors on workdays, from 10:00 to 14:00 hours. Feel free to visit and see if you can find the alumni you're looking for. _

An answer to his email. Knowing he can see the yearbooks brings back some of the excitement he lost this week. He can't do it today cause it's too late, but tomorrow. He'll have to skip a class, which isn't the best, but he has to. He has to go and see who can find with the last names the soul mentioned.

Lee. Kim. Jung. The list will be long, but it'll be worth it. He'll do the same in the other universities, make a list of the people he finds. He'll read the names to the soul or search the people up online and find a connection. There has to be a connection.

The next time he sees the soul he'll give him some answers.

Maybe he’ll know why they’re connected, why they’re so drawn to each other. He’ll have a better explanation than  _ the universe _ , though as things stand, it’s the only thing that makes sense. The universe wants this to happen, but why.

“Yuta?” He calls after the man sitting next to him in a whisper.

“Hm?”

“Can your spirit tell me why we’re connected?” Hyuck asks, hopeful.

Yuta looks at him and purses his lips. His expression softens before he answers.

“You know, there’s no such thing as someone’s other half,” he explains, “We’re all entire people on our own. But in some cases, some very rare cases, one in a billion cases, there is another half. Not exactly a half, more like a missing piece of your soul that someone else has. A soulmate.” Hyuck repeats the words to himself, trying to wrap his head around it. “In your case it’s an actual soul. It’s kind of ironic, really.”

Huh.

Hyuck better email Alanis Morisette next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merci for your attention  
> i already started the next chapter so it should be up in a few days ╰(*°▽°*)╯


	8. the past is the past, and the present is what your life is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An emergency leads Hyuck to an unexpected place where he figures out the answer to one of the most pressing questions: the soul's name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mary oliver poem: mornings at blackwater
> 
> this is the chapter i was most excited to write just because of who shows up, and how the chapter ends  
> this is also the longest chapter so far, i just couldn't stop writing and i love it so much

Considering there are just four hours to do all the research and note taking for him in a day, Hyuck knows he has no time to waste. With that in mind, he plans to get there ahead of time and stay for all four hours, getting as many names as he can copied into his notebook. Lee. Kim. Jung. Men is what he's on the hunt for, which makes it slightly easier. Less names for him to write down. Maybe he can take photos too, or make copies on the library copier if it's not too expensive. Maybe having something to show to the soul, not just a name, will help him recover more memories.

In order to get there early he needs to leave early too. Jisung is running a little late, but he shares breakfast and coffee with Hyuck before they leave the apartment together. Though Jisung barely eats and opts out for the coffee more. Hyuck has a feeling his roommate is nervous about the class he has today, with the professor he always complains about. He shouldn't be late for that, Jisung repeats.

He drives Jisung to campus and drops him off so that he isn't late for class. Then he drives off with the excuse that he has chores to do. In a way, he does have chores he needs to take care of. With an hour and a half to spare he can shop some supplies for this weekend. That seems like the best idea.

While wandering around the supermarket, pushing the cart forward and mindlessly filling it up, what Yuta said yesterday runs through his mind. All of it, even the bits about the spirits, and what he read about souls and how much pain they're in. But the soulmate conversation especially. People don't have soulmates, but he does. He understands what those words mean, both on their own and when said together like that. He still doesn't understand, though.

Why him? Why like this? Why couldn't he meet his soulmate, the person he loves and is meant to love in a completely normal way? Why did it have to be so abnormal? There's nothing wrong with clichés, meetings while drunk in random bars, in line at coffee shops, or even supermarkets. He stands in the snack aisle and looks around, spotting a guy nearby. Why couldn't it be him? There's nothing wrong with that dude, switching his weight from one foot to the other as he decides on a potato chip flavor.

Well, there is something wrong with him, if he's being frank. The answer is ketchup flavor, there's no reason to think about it. It's something Hyuck would argue on — it's always ketchup flavor.

Hyuck thinks back to last weekend and the smile the soul gave him when he saw him pull out the bag of ketchup flavored chips. He even recognized the brand. Yeah. A soulmate. The memory of the soul smiling makes him smile too. It's almost like he's smiling back at him. It's a moment of happiness.

Shit. A soulmate. They even have the same taste for ridiculously small things like that. Hyuck can't find a single flaw, no excuse as to why it wouldn't work between them. Beside the entire soul detached from body thing. But that apparently isn't forever. He'll find a solution.

With a trunk full of shopping, Hyuck heads to his next destination — Seoul National University. He's been there before to visit friends, so he has an idea of where he is going. He can picture the library exterior in his head and that makes him excited.

He has a good feeling about today, even with all the overthinking he's been doing. Today will be a good day.

He arrives in the archive section just as it's opening. The librarian points him in the direction of the yearbooks and he gets to work.

Kim. Jung. Lee. Only the men.

But it's still a huge university, so it's a lot of people to go through.

Luckily, the librarian lets him take photos of the pages. She also promises that she'll ask about digital copies for him as she has more authority to ask for those. They were never going to give him the digital copies just like that, no questions asked. He is a complete stranger to this campus. But they might give the digital copies to her, if digital copies do in fact exist out there somewhere, and she seems willing to share them with him.

In the meantime, he takes a photo of every page in the yearbook, pausing every once in a while to upload them to his drive and make space for more photos on his phone. There's a lot of pictures.

He starts with the 2019 yearbook, and he works his way back in time. He wants to cover as much as he can, just to be safe, but the soul doesn't look that old. He has a good feeling about this decision too.

Thankfully, the alphabetical order makes it somewhat easier. He gets to skip over entire sections of students. Even with that, it's still a lot to go through. Kim and Lee are some of the most common last names in the country.

He gets really into it, developing a system on how to work quickly. Taking a photo of two pages at the same time instead of just one results in a legible product after zooming into it, so he starts doing that. Around noon is when he starts to speed up, but it's also when he gets interrupted and given a reason not to finish.

He barely makes a dent in the stack of yearbooks he pulled off the shelf. He's getting started on the 2017 yearbook when he gets a call from Jisung. His phone is on silent so it doesn't interrupt anyone. If it was anyone else, he probably wouldn't pick up. But it's Jisung, who barely ever calls, so he has to. He excuses himself and rushes out of the library to answer.

"Hyung, can you please come and pick me up? Something's not right, I need to go to the hospital. I'm in so much pain, I have to see a doctor."

He sounds like he's in pain. Hyuck doesn't have to think about it at all, he can hear the urgency in Jisung's voice. It worries him.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," he responds. Then he starts moving as quickly as he can.

He goes back inside to get his things. He gathers the yearbooks and returns them to the shelf. He apologizes to the librarian, saying he'll return soon, and leaves the library promptly. He will return, as soon as he can. When Jisung feels better. Cause Jisung definitely isn't feeling well right now.

The way he sounded replays in Hyuck's head, forming a knot in his stomach. That's when he begins to run towards his car.

He rushes back to their campus, driving over the speed limit the entire time. The day might not be as good as he first thought it would be, but he's lucky enough to get away with speeding. There must be some stars that are aligned in his favor.

Jisung doesn't look good. He's bending over in pain, complaining about his lower abdomen. He doesn't want to move, he says it makes the pain worse. He says he feels nauseous. None of those symptoms sound good on their own, the combination of them all must be even worse. His worry gets worse.

Hyuck has to carry him to the car, he helps him lie down on his side in the backseat. His mind is racing, thinking of the worst possible scenarios. Trying to suppress the hypochondriac in him isn't easy at all, but Jisung is freaking out much more than he is, and he wants to help calm him down. _It'll be fine, it'll be fine,_ he repeats to him, while Jisung groans in pain in the backseat. We'll be at the hospital really soon. _Just a few more minutes. Hold on, Jisung._

Speeding again, and seemingly, more stars have aligned. No police officers stop him, he doesn't cause any accidents. Even better, there's no line in front of the emergency room doors either. He temporarily parks on the other side of the entrance, so that he doesn't block the parking spot for the ambulances, then runs in and asks for help. A doctor and two nurses follow him out, and soon enough Jisung is in a wheelchair, getting whisked away for an exam while Hyuck is left to fill in some paperwork and do something scary. Call Chenle and tell him what happened. Then we'll call Jisung's parents, and let them know as well.

Jisung's parents hang up quickly, letting him know they are on their way. It'll take him a while to get there, though. Chenle will come quicker. Even on the phone Chenle is panicking worse than Hyuck could imagine.

Sitting in the waiting room and filling information on a clipboard while he knows the condition in which Jisung is in just a few rooms away isn't easy at all. The fact that he has no information about what's going on only makes it worse. He wishes he knew, he wishes they let him come into the exam room with Jisung. He must be scared and uncomfortable. Hyuck wished he could ease his mind.

He hands the paperwork to the nurse at the reception station, and asks for more information. She just tells him to sit down and wait.

"Someone will be out to let you know, shortly," she promises. It sounds as empty as the promises Hyuck was making in the car. It'll be fine. He has no idea if that is true though. What if it isn't fine?

Oh my god. What if it isn't fine?

The thought has Hyuck pacing up and down the length of the waiting room, the terrifying scenarios returning to his head. He doesn't know why he can't stop them. It's not like he knows anything about medicine, or conditions that fit Jisung's symptoms. Yet, he still thinks about what could be wrong, and none of it is any good.

"Anything?"

"Nothing yet."

Chenle shows up less than 20 minutes after Hyuck calls him and joins him in the restless pacing and snappiness.

"How fast did you get him here?"

"As fast as I could," Hyuck tells him.

Chenle gives him a look, one Hyuck isn't happy to be on the receiving end of.

"You would've gotten him here faster if you were on campus," Chenle then says, “You should’ve been on campus.”

Hyuck is well aware of this fact. He doesn't need Chenle to say it cause the thought hasn't left his mind since he arrived at the hospital. He's stewing in the guilt because he should've known.

Jisung didn't have appetite this morning, Hyuck wrote it off. Jisung didn't look well either, he looked tired, Hyuck wrote it off.

This wasn't supposed to happen, so Hyuck didn't think that it would.

"I know. I'm sorry," Hyuck manages. Chenle nods, but he doesn't respond further than that. The gesture leaves Hyuck to battle the guilt building up inside him on his own. He deserves it, he figures. He also figures Chenle is incredibly worried and needs someone to blame. The best thing he can do for Chenle is allow him to be mad at him. He can take it. This time he doesn't mind it.

By the time Jisung's parents arrive, he and Chenle start speaking again. They make up in a way. They learn what's going on with Jisung — one of the nurses that initially took him in comes out to tell them that it's appendicitis and in Jisung's situation it's nothing to worry about. He's already headed to the operating room when she shows up to let them know what's going on. She tells them it's safe to operate and the operation is so common that it's standard procedure.

"He'll be okay," the nurse states, incredibly confident in what she's saying. Her word is one Hyuck is most inclined to believe. Far more than his own.

Jisung will be okay. Finally some peace of mind.

The operation goes well.

It's a few hours later when the news comes, and they're all relieved to hear this. He's asleep so they can't see him yet, but soon enough they will.

They're also exhausted, and the fact that none of them have moved from the waiting room makes Hyuck feel restless. He needs a break. He needs to savor the moment, the small victory that was just announced. He needs a moment to think too. So much happened today, and yesterday too. He needs a moment to himself. Maybe it's a moment to overthink rather than think, but he feels as though it's the only thing that could do him some good right now. That and maybe something to eat, the growling of his stomach reminds him of his hunger. He hasn't eaten since this morning.

He excuses himself and heads for the cafeteria, getting lost a few times on his way there.

He's absent-minded again, now also trying to process what happened to Jisung. It was so much to deal with in a single day. It was so scary to see Jisung like that.

He wouldn't wish the experience on his greatest enemies.

With a cup of coffee going cold in front of him, and a tray of food that he's slowly picking at, Hyuck finds himself mostly staring into blank space in the cafeteria. Jisung, the soul, Yuta's friendly spirit promising him that everything will be okay. Where does one even begin?

"Can I sit with you?" he hears someone ask. He looks up at a face that is strangely familiar, though Donghyuck has no idea who the person is. Odd. He looks around the cafeteria next, at the empty tables surrounding them. "You seem like you could use some company," the man tells him.

"Sure, I guess," he nods.

The man pulls on the chair opposite of Hyuck a little too loudly, then leaves his phone and his own cup of coffee down on the table with a thud. He seems to be a bit too reckless. If he was dressed as a patient, Hyuck wouldn't be too surprised.

What he is surprised about is how familiar the man looks. He just can't figure out where he knows him from.

"Worried about family?" the man asks him.

"About my friend," Hyuck says. The man nods at him again.

"I'm worried about my friend too," he tells him. It's Hyuck's turn to nod and take in the information, "My friend has been in a coma for a few months now. What about yours?"

"My friend had appendicitis. He was in a lot of pain, I'm trying to process it." Another awkward nod. Another moment where Hyuck is doing his best trying to figure out where he knows the man from. He fails. He keeps failing. Who is this person? "What's your name?" he asks.

"I'm Jaehyun. What's yours?"

"Donghyuck," he says as reflex.

Jaehyun. Jaehyun. That sounds familiar, but it could be familiar from anywhere. He's not a celebrity, or Hyuck would've recognized him immediately. He doesn't look familiar that way, and if he was one, once he introduced himself, Hyuck would've connected the dots. That's not what this is.

The man's cell phone lights up then, probably some notification. But it captures Hyuck's attention. It's not polite to look, but Hyuck can't help it. Not when he sees what he sees.

His eyes go wide. The soul. A picture of him, along with some other people, is set as Jaehyun's background.

Jaehyun. Kim. Lee. Jung. Jung! Jung Jaehyun. He read it in the yearbook this morning.

Shit. The fucking universe at its finest.

"Are you okay?"

Hyuck meets his eyes, deciding on how to ask what he needs to ask. But there isn't a safe way to do it, exactly. He should just do it. Just ask. No reason to stall.

"Jung Jaehyun?"

"Yes." Jaehyun narrows his eyes at him. "Do I know you?"

Hyuck dismisses the question immediately. He doesn't have time for it.

Instead he points to Jaehyun's phone, to where the man the soul belongs to is standing.

"What's his name?" he asks.

"What?"

"His name. He's your friend that's in a coma, right?" Jaehyun nods again, he opens his mouth to say something, but Hyuck cuts him off. "Please tell me his name."

He's shaking. He's so close to finding out that his body gives him away.

Jaehyun must notice how freaked out he is. So he answers.

"Taeil. Moon Taeil."

"Moon Taeil," Hyuck repeats it out loud. He then continues to repeat the name in his head. Moon Taeil. "He's alive." This is the final confirmation that he needed. He's alive. And he's in this hospital. And they can get their happily ever after. "Moon Taeil."

He has to leave. He has to go and see him and tell him. Moon Taeil. Mystery solved.

Hyuck raises to his feet, preparing to leave.

"How do you know him? Why don't you know his name? How do you know that he's the one who's in a coma?" Jaehyun asks him, all good questions. Hyuck can't answer any of them. He isn't sure how to do it. Can he explain souls and the fact that he can see him in the woods he likes to go to to a person he's never met before? A person who's worried about his friend. He doesn't see the truth helping in any way.

"Thank you," he says instead of answering the questions he was given.

Hyuck leaves everything behind and heads to his car. Maybe it would've been better if he went up and told them he was leaving for a few hours, but Chenle would stare at him and make him stay. And Hyuck can't stay. He needs a break anyway. He'll be back.

He calls Chenle while going to the car, tells him that he needs a break and he'll return, nothing else.

The sun is starting to set over the city, it's too late to be going where he's going, but he has to. This is the answer they need, and he needs to see how it'll turn out right away. He needs a win today.

The road is just as dangerous as he remembers it, and he's oh-so tired, but he manages. He blasts music to keep himself awake, and drives much slower than he has been driving today. He's being safe.

When he arrives at the park it's evening. He parks the car where he usually does on the parking lot, pulls out one of the flashlights he has in the trunk, he gets a bottle of water, and he gets one of the blankets that are still there from last weekend's camping trip. He goes for the short way, heading for the place where he usually exits the woods. He knows this bit by heart, he can't get lost.

With the flashlight illuminating the way he finds himself at the tree. But he isn't here.

Hyuck turns around a few times, his breath speeding up even more from the panic building inside him. Where is he? Why isn't he here?

"Haechan?"

He turns to where the noise is coming from, illuminating the area with his flashlight.

He's here.

"Donghyuck. Lee Donghyuck, that's my real name. Haechan is a nickname," he tells him.

"Oh," the soul mouths at him. He looks him over, worry taking over his facial expression as he walks closer to him. "It's night," he says next.

"Yes."

"I felt you coming, but I couldn't believe it. You don't come at night."

He felt him coming. Why hasn't he said that before? If he feels him then that's another reason why what Yuta said is true. Soulmates. A piece of Donghyuck is with him at all times. It always will be.

"I don't," he says, still trying to catch his breath, "It's not the weekend either. Not yet."

"Is it important?"

Yes. It's probably the most important visit so far.

"Moon Taeil," Hyuck says. He takes in a deep breath and repeats the name again. "Your name is Moon Taeil."

The soul puts his hand over his heart and gasps for air. He squeezes his eyes shut, then falls to his knees. Hyuck kneels next to him, unsure of what's happening and how he can help. It's all happening so fast.

The soul looks at him then, tears pooling in his eyes.

"My name is Moon Taeil," he says, his lips quivering into a smile, "Nice to meet you Donghyuck. I'm Taeil."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are welcomed
> 
> find me at the usual places of twitter and curiouscat. see you bubs all around the the towns and everything soon(ish) maybe? we'll see

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/newct127) | [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/newct127)


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